check in and weekly goals - allison

oh dear. last week was not good for me at all. it started off ok, but went downhill real quick. i had some emotional thing going on - i think i posted about it previous - and that just set me off. so i tracked maybe one time last week. and i did not exercise at all. AND i gained 3 lbs. so from the start of this blog i have lost 1.4 LBS. yesterday did not go well either.

preface: i have been diagnosed with sleep apnea (yay!!!). therefore, i do not sleep well. and yesterday i thought, i am going to sleep all morning because i want to. NOT a good idea. i ended up feeling worse and had a bad attitude all day. i am beginning to think that the more i sleep, the worse i feel - cuz its all around bad sleep.

SO, with all that said. i am back on track today. had my green smoothie - and got my crazy monster to eat some as well. i am really motivated that ali tracked and was under her calorie goal all week. AND she worked out. AND she lost 5 lbs. now SHE is the rockstar. here are my goals for this week:

1. continue to track
2. try and workout 3 times - one of these days this will happen
3. nana and papa are coming to town - so my goal is to STILL stay on track. even though we like desserts and such.
4. DO NOT emotionally eat on saturday. this is anthon's 1 year anniversary of his passing away. i am trying to gear up for this day. so i really want to be able to come back next week and say that i did not emotionally eat due to remembering this tragedy.

i keep telling myself that i have been through the hardest thing that anyone can go through - losing a child. and i'm still here, a year later. i know i have had some ups and serious downs over the last year. including the top three:

1. losing and gaining 30 lbs
2. trying to end my life
3. henry being in the hospital for a week

and yet, i am still here. trying to survive. trying to get healthy. so i will try to take this week in stride. remember my angel. know that without him i wouldn't have learned so much about myself. and keep moving.

here's to a successful week. here's to not trying, but doing (physically and mentally).